Was spending the evening planning the last session of the Alpha Course and surfing the Web for a traditional satay man to order from. I don’t know about you but after spending a couple of hours perusing various websites reading reviews and looking at photos of delicious satay, I was struck with a craving for satay.

Feeling extra ravenous because I’d skipped dinner earlier, I called a friend from church and arranged to meet at the Adams Road Food Centre for their satay and “teh alia” (ginger tea).

The satay quest turned out to be a bomb because the stall was closed. Perhaps, it may have been that a lot of frustration, anger, pride and <substitute whatever emotion you think is appropriate here> had been building up in me or that it had been a while since I truly shared with someone about what i was feeling or thinking these last few months but the evening turned into one of soul-baring and sharing.

The topics we covered ranged far and wide from the frustration we were feeling (or rather I was feeling with church and its leaders) to how problems seemed to be cropping up in various aspects of church-life. At the end of that 5 hour conversation which eventually ended at 3am, I was left with a number of questions which I’ll have to think about and explore for myself. With things churning in my heart and brain, I turned to the occasionally used source of inspiration and comfort, the music of Chris Tomlin.

With the iPod set to shuffle, the first song seemed especially poignant given this evening’s tone of the conversation. Thought I’d share the song with you.

Video courtesy of Youtube.

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A different version of the story that I came across on the Internet used in a previous post. This one purports to be an account of a classroom encounter between a student and his professor discussing the existence of God. I’ve seen it in various forms but here’s a version I like best:

The university professor challenged his students with this question. Did God create everything that exists?

A student bravely replied, “Yes, he did!”

“God created everything?” The professor asked.

“Yes, sir,” the student replied.

The professor answered, “If God created everything, then God created evil since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works define who we are then God is evil.”

The student became quiet before such an answer.

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Quoted from The Power of a Praying Woman by Stomie Omartian..

None of us is perfect, cleansing my heart not as a judgement that my heart is dirty but as God’s call for me to get completely right before Him so He can bring all the blessing He has for me into my life.

In order to accomplish this, I have to examine my life closely. I have to be brave enough to ask God to teach me what I am not understanding. Convict me where I am missing the mark. Tear down my arrogance, pride, fear, insecuritites and help me to see the truth about myself, my life and my circumstances.

I have to confess to God any sins of thoughts or action that He shows me and repent.

My Prayer

Lord, I come humble before You and ask You to cleanse my heart of every fault and renew a right spirit within me. Forgive me for thougths I had, words I have spoken and things that I have done that are not glorifying to You or are in direct contradication to Your commands.

Specifically, I confess to You for putting my “Isaac” before You. I confess it as sin and repent of it that I choose to walk away and surrender all unto You knowing that You are gracious and merciful, slow to anger and of great kindness (Joel2:13). Forgive me for ever taking that for granted.

Examine my soul and expose my motive to reveal what I need understanding. Enable me to make changes where I need to do so. Open my eyes to what I need to see so that I can confess all sin and repent of it. I want to cleanse my hands and purify my heart as You have commanded in Your word (James 4:8)

Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin (Psalms 51:10-11)

Lord create in me a clean heart .. and renew steadfast spirit within me (Psalms 19:12)

See if there is any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting (Psalms 139:24)

Make me clean and right before You. I want to receive Your forgiveness so that times of refreshing may come from Your presence

- yvks

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